I was at Thanksgiving with my family, and one of my white-trash cousins was pregnant (again). She was talking to my mom about when she had young kids, and asked my mom's thoughts on how to get her newborn to start drinking coffee.
My mom advised, “You have to make the coffee really milky so the baby doesn't mind as much. Then simply pinch the baby's nose until it starts to cry, and pour the coffee down its throat.”
Seems reasonable.
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