European Dreamz

Al of my dreams on this continent have sucked, except this gem I had while catching a quick nap in Moscow:

I was walking down Nevsky-Prospect in St. Petersburg, Russia, with a friend of mine. I think we were drunk, but we were definitely coming home from some bar. We run into two very Russian-looking guys, and they ask us for a light. Of course, I speak Russian v. well in my dream, so I understand them and pull a lighter out of my pocket. The more outspoken of the two Russian dudes takes the lighter and tries to light this little stub of a hand-rolled cigarette. It is at this moment that I notice that these two men are covered in bloodly, ragged bandages and bruises. The one with my lighter has lost a few fingers, and his taller, quieter friend has a prosthetic leg. It is clear that these dudes have been in some serious accident, although how recently is hard to tell because all of their wounds are in various stages of healing. I look at these Russian dudes and they are just starting to look creepier and creepier and all of a sudden I notice all of their weird facial tics and menacing scars...

The stub-cigarette is clearly not going to light, so the Russian dude pulls out a cigar, some magic kind of cigar that, like a strike-anywhere match, will practically light on it's own. The man strikes the cigar against the building next to us, takes a puff, and they are on their way.

I'M SLIM GABEY/YES I'M THE REAL GABEY

holy shit, this thing is being updated... by me?!

short synopses of past week's dreams:

1 -in high school gymnasium. sitting in a bed with the one we call "bus crush." (i'll sing you his "song" sometime.) otherwise, it's normal lecture with teacher/professor and all. shelsea* and *olex are in a bed across the gym. bus crush holds my hand and other such nonsense. i tell him to stop because i will get ratted out. damnit! i mean... that was totally inappropriate, bus crush.


*names changed to protect identity

2 - it's late at night. i'm coming back home to my new york home. i decide to take a peek inside the windows. i notice my little, thought-to-be-asexual brother making out with his male friend who i only vaguely recognize from an old photo on his old phone that got passed down to me. (that is one bullshit hand-me-down policy, btw.) anyhoo, this doesn't surprise me so i just go inside but when i do, they are acting like they weren't just making out. psshhh! you totally got caught, bro. p.s. ewwww.

dream 3 - clem, the cat, is chilling in my new york-home. all of a sudden, the chatty/annoying fuck repairman from ladyland-home is coming in. instant panic ensues and i hide clem in a flimsly closet in my bedroom and rush to turn on a loud fan/air conditioner apparatus to block out her meows. i should mention i'm not allowed to have a cat, ey? she manages to open the closet AND my bedroom door (which i'm sure, no, i KNOW she's capable of in real life). so i get caught. bonerkill. the coolest part of this dream is that clem's real life white spots were purple and her real life ginger spots were pink and it's really the only part of the dream worth mentioning. kewl!

this has been me procrastinating on a french final. good night!
also, google image searching "bus crush" does not yield fun times. why did i even try?